This post is primarily meant for women, just because it was inspired by several women (including my wife) I’ve spoken with over the years, regarding the panic that can be induced by training BJJ. I know from experience that men can feel panic too – I just think the fear can be different/more real for women.
More times that I can recall, I’ve had a women say that she just can’t get past the choking aspect of jiu jitsu. Or having their wrists controlled. I think this can be a natural aversion, or because of something in her past… whatever the reason, the fear is real and can be tough to get over. So much so, that even giving jiu jitsu a try is often not even considered a possibility. The fear of being uncomfortable precedes all of the benefits that could be experienced. I’m not actively trying to change anyone’s mind – Just food for thought for those who experience this panic. Instead of focusing on this fear, I’d like to discuss the many benefits.
Comrodery
The feeling of belonging is a huge benefit I experience AND hear from others. Something about the close quarter training of BJJ tends to lend well to feeling close to your training partners off the mats too.- Also, if you train with your spouse, kids, or existing friends this can help you connect on a new level. Speaking as a parent of two (both of whom train in BJJ) I can attest to the connection we have due to BJJ.
Fitness
Okay, this one is a bit obvious but still worth mentioning. The entire reason I began training jiu jitsu was because I wanted a new way to exercise that didn’t involve a bunch of weight lifting and running. I just wanted to be more fit. I had no desire to compete, teach, or have BJJ take over my life. All of that just came naturally over time.
Self-Defense
This is actually the whole reason I’m writing this article. For those who feel the panic of chokes, claustrophobia, or just generally being constrained, I ask this question; Wouldn’t you rather learn to protect yourself in a controlled environment, where you know your training partners care about your safety and growth? To some degree, we ALL experience that panic when training. More at first – then, after testing your limits a few times, you realize that the fear you felt usually isn’t based on a viable threat and your new limit is considerably farther than it was when you started. And if you’re ever unfortunate enough to need to defend yourself, you’ll be doing so from a position of confidence, and strength of body, mind and technique.- This is actually when competition usually starts to enter people’s minds. You still get to test your skills in a controlled environment, with some set rules to keep everyone as safe as possible, but you also are doing this with perfect strangers. These other people are usually just as nervous as you are, and want to win as badly as you do.
All-in-all, experiencing the fear and panic induced by close-quarter grappling is totally natural. But learning and pushing your limits give you a type growth you just can’t mirror with most other (safe) activities. Remember, Jiu Jitsu translates to “Gentle Art”.
Below is a commercial for a kimono maker that fits nicely at the end of this post. Just be warned, it plays like a Hollywood fight scene, and sexualizes the woman in the commercial. The idea is still cool though…
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